The Person That I Am Today
by Chrismukkah-hunnie
Summary: SethRyan Slash. futurefic. Warning Contains male relationships. Don't like Don't read! Ryan looks back on some of the moments during his and Seth's relationship


Hey this is my first Ryan/Seth slash story actually posted on any sight.

Disclaimer: I do not own these boys, sadly they belong to Josh Shwarts and The Fox network.. blah blah blah...

WARNING this contains male relationships, though nothing to graphic

**On with the Story!**

**The Person That I Am Today**

Ryan looked over at the sleeping form next to him. After all these years Seth still looked ridiculous in his sleep. His arms and legs were arranged in an awkward positions, his hands fisting the blankets. For some reason he slept with his mouth wide open, which in the morning resided in a pool of drool across the pillow, sometimes across Ryan's pillow too. Seth never shut his mouth during the day, why start during the night?

Ryan sighed, pushing his palms into his eyes. Ryan always had trouble sleeping before he had to leave for a business trip. These seemed to be happening a lot lately. This time he was catching a flight to Boston, to meet with some associates of something or other & Whats-his-name. It was too early to think properly.

_3:27_

Three more hours before he had to get up. Seth turned over in his sleep taking all of the blankets with him. Ryan shivered, staring at the ceiling._ He always does this. It used to be cute, but now its just annoying._ He thought, bringing a hand to his hair in frustration._ Pretty soon he's gonna start talking jibberish and making scary sounds with his nose._

Ryan sits up dragging his legs over to the side of the bed, and rubs his hand against his face, feeling the prickle of his stubble.Exhausted, he hoisted his sleep deprived body up and started to shuffle across the carpet of the bedroom. Soon Ryan is out in the smiling-SethandRyan-picture covered hallway, and into the kitchen. He can feel the cold of the marble tile underneath his sock ridden feet. In a daze Ryan opens the fridge door and reaches inside for the almost empty carton of orange juice. He brings the carton to his lips and takes a long drink, finishing it off. This has been his nightly ritual for the past couple days, and next he would settle himself on the living room couch and lazily turn on the t.v.

He flipped through the channels unitl he found an old Buffy episode on the sci-fi channel. Yes, Seth had gotten him interested in all that geeky-sci-fi-comic-stuff a long time ago. He remembered the first time Seth made him watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer with him the year he first was taken in by the Cohens.

_--------------------------------------------_

_"Dude, this is **the** best show ever! I mean it has ass-kicking, angst,comedy, **and** a hot girl beating the shit outta stuff in leather pants! What more could you want!"_

_"Seth, I am not watching a show called Boofy the Vampire,"_

_"BUFFY the Vampire SLAYER! Don't you give me the Glare of doom! You know you wanna watch it! I know you know you do."_

_"That didn't make sense."_

_"Yes. I am aware of that Ryan, thank you for adding insult to injury. But never mind that, Buffy is starting! C'mon Ry, watch it with me! PLEASE! It will be very manly, we can drink beer and spit and stuff. Okay well maybe no. Scratch that, considering we're not allowed beer and mom would not be happy with a spit covered living room. Just watch I guartentee you will love it."_

_"Fine, but only because I don't want to listen to you."_

_"Fair enough."_

_--------------------------------------------_

After 18 years he didn't think Buffy reruns would still be on. He had to admit that he did like the show, despite its awkward title, and the name Buffy, that sounded like it should be the name of an ugly, pampered cat.

It was the episode when the whole town couldn't talk and those creepy floating guys that stole hearts. Seth always freaked out at this one. Especailly in the beginning with that little girl who sang. Gave him nightmares for a month, he told Ryan. He said he was scared of the girls choir for a long time after that too, and smiling bald people. Ryan smirked and shook his head remembering that. Halfway through the episode Ryan got bored, and turned off the television. He set the remote on the table by a picture of Seth and their old dog, Pickles, at the beach.

_"Go fetch the stick, Go on!"_

_"I don't think he's gonna get it Seth."_

_"Pfft, Sure he will! Dogs love to get sticks, I heard its number 2 on their favourite things to do list."_

_"Whats number one."_

_"Peeing in your shoes. Kinda like the old Water Polo team."_

_"Funny..."_

_"I thought so, Go on Pickles get the stick! Go on!"_

_"I don't think he likes water Seth."_

_"Oh come on Ry! Have you ever heard of a dog that is afraid of water?"_

_"Stop it with the Glare of Doom, it scares me"_

_"Oh really, you said it was sexy yesterday."_

_"That was yesterday Ryan."_

_"Stop it!"_

_"RY-AAAN!"_

_"Fine, but I still think the dog isn't gonna get the stick."_

_"Sure he will, he just needs some help."_

_"Seth, what are you doing?"_

_"What does it look like! I'm going for a swim, to show Pickles that water is harmless so he can get the stick."_

_"Its just a stick,"_

_"It is not just a stick Ryan, Do you really want the other dogs to make fun of Pickles cause he couldn't fetch a stick! Huh? Then the dog-water-polo team will pee in his shoes for sure Ryan, and that would not be cool. At all."_

_"Dogs don't wear shoes, and I'm pretty sure there isn't a dog water-polo-team!"_

_"There is in New Zealand. Now if you will excuse me, I have a date with some seaweed. Come on Pickles! Follow daddy, come on! Holy Moses this water is cold!"_

_"Then why don't you come back!"_

_"No! Not until Pickles gets the stick!"_

_"Come on Pickles, Seth is crazy, lets go back."_

_"Ryan, dude! Where are you going! You can't leave me I might drown! Ryan wait! Wait! I'm Coming! Holy Sweet Moses! Its freezing!"_

_"You should have thought of that before you decided to go swimming in the middle of February!"_

_"Ryan I think Somebody needs a hug!"_

_"No I don't"_

_"Yes you do Mr. Grumpy gills! Come here!"_

_"Ah! Seth you're freezing cold! And you have seaweed in your hair."_

_"EW! Where is it! Get it out!"  
"No, leave it."_

_"WHY?"_

_"... oh...RYAN! Not in front of the dog!"_

_----------------------------------------------------_

Sadly Pickles died the following year. Seth was so heart broken. He told Ryan, that Pickles was like the child they would never get to have. That scared him a little bit, when he first heard Seth say that, after all they were only young back then. Just fresh outta college. Barely 25. But ten years later, It made his heart pang with sadness.

He looked at the clock hanging on the wall,

_4:42_

Three more hours before he had to go the airport. Four more hours before his flight left. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, relishing in the fact that he had everything he never dreamed of ever having when he was a kid. A house, a good paying job, people who loved him back as much he loved them. Seth.

Before he met Seth, Ryan was all about the ladies. 100 heterosexual. But something changed when he saw Seth, sitting there looking all innocent and pure, that first morning. Or maybe it was the orgasmic noises Seth made while playing video games. Ryan still wasn't quite sure.

Of course Ryan didn't realize his suddenly not so 100 heterosexualness, as he was busy trying to save Marissa Cooper from herself. It took Ryan a long time to realize that Marissa wasn't the one he wanted, of course he wanted to help her, but he didn't want to _be with her._ He wanted Seth, and somehow he thought part of him knew all along. He remembered the summer before college. Ryan was surprised when Seth first kissed him sitting by the pool, their feet dangling in the water.

_" So... Did you read the new Legion that I left on your bed?"_

_"Mmmhmmm"_

_"I know wasn't that good, I thought so too. I think maybe I'm growing out of the comic book thing."_

_"Really?"_

_"I know shocking, but yeah. I guess I have to grow up you know. After all Summer dumped me because I was to quote her 'Too obsessed with my Geekified, comic fest,' then her. But you know that wasn't the truth, I just wasn't that into her anymore either. I grew out of it. She was like a childish fantasy, one that goes away when you realise you're not a kid anymore."_

_"Don't grow up."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because the you won't be the Seth that I..."_

_"The Seth that you what? Ry... you're eyes are bugging out... Its freaky"_

_"Became friends with?..."_

_"Okay you're eyes are still bugging out, dude, its not a good look for you. I can tell you're lying, you can't fool me, so why don't you just tell me?"_

_"Right. The patented Death Glare. Okay I can tell you don't want to talk about it. Its not like it was anything minty like, 'Then you won't be the Seth Cohen that I fell in love with' or anything."_

_"Oh God! It was! Wasn't it!"_

_".. I'm gonna go..."_

_"No wait Ryan."_

_"Did you just kiss me?"_

_"I think I did. Is that okay?"_

_"Umm yeah.."_

_"Good cuz I'm definetly going to do it again..._

_... and again..._

_...and again."_

_----------------------------------------------------------_

Ryan woke, and blinked his eyes.

"You blink alot when you wake up."

_6:31_

"Seth?"

"Ryan?"

Ryan's lips curled upwards into a lazy smile, that was captured by Seth's in a slow and easy kiss.

"I made you some cereal."

"You can't make cereal Seth." Ryan said back to Seth still smiling.

"Well for me you can. It requires a lot of skill to choose the right sugary cereal and pour it into a bowl, with expert accuracy."

Ryan chuckled at Seth's remark. Its times like this that almost make you forget that in a few hours you're gonna be half way across the country away from your partner.

"How bout you eat the cereal," Ryan sat up and kissed the top of Seth's head, brushing a stray curl away from his face, "While I go shower."

"No, How bout you eat the cereal, while I go shower, and then you can join me. It can be a sexy shower."

"Tempting, but I have to get ready for my flight."

"Don't go Ry."

"I have to, I'll lose my job."

"Pfft, you don't need a job. The 'rents will take care of everything."

"What happens when they aren't there any more Seth?"

"We can live off the land! The World will be our toilet!"

"Fine. Leave me! God knows what will happen when you are away." Seth made a dramtic gesture with his hand.

"Its only three days Seth."

"I know Babe, But I feel weird when you're not here." Ryan took Seth in his arms, and held him. He breathed in Seth's familiar Scent of Old Spice Deodorant, and mint toothpaste, and stroked his back.

"About that sexy shower..."

**T**

**H**

**E N D**

**Reviews appreciated**

**Chirsmukkah-hunnie**


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